I think that we’ve all had times in our lives when it feels like we’ve got the weight of the world on us and there’s pressure from outside of us to deal with something that we really don’t what to address. It’s usually that we are just so paralyzed by the concept of taking action that we avoid it at all costs. This can be a self-perpetuating cycle, as we get more and more scared to deal with it, that it becomes a “Big Fat Hairy Deal”.
When in the presence of a Big Fat Hairy Deal, we just want it to go away and not bother us. We’ll deny that it’s there. We’ll put off facing it to do something much more important (like surfing the web to research the use of hydroponics in the 18th Century). We do these things because we know that nothing in the world is more dangerous than actually facing The Big Fat Hairy Deal.
I’ve also found that nothing is as sweet as the relief when you finally know that the Big Fat Hairy Deal is not going to bother you. Many times all it took was making that awkward phone call or going through that pile of bills. It can be so simple to just deal with the issue, and get it past you.
I was reminded of this as I’ve been doing pretty well lately: meditating, dealing with the standard stuff that comes up in life, etc, when all of a sudden I had a bunch of things happen to me. Between family illnesses and upsets, professional upsets, and dealing with the darkening of the days, all of a sudden I seemed to be much more overwhelmed with things and not able to concentrate as well as I have in the past. It took me a while to remember that this is the way that I used to feel constantly, and that if I just try to see what’s in front of me at the moment, I see distinct things clearly. When I’m overwhelmed, it’s a mass of things together, and all that pops up in my head is the Big Fat Hairy Deal.
With many of my clients, they are paralyzed by fear of going forward and don’t know what to do. The Big Fat Hairy Deal shows up in their lives and stops them in their tracks. I like to say that the Big Fat Hairy Deal is just another name for fear, and everything that you don’t know what it is. You can reclaim your life and your future by seeing what’s in front of you for what it is, which could be anything from a broken dish to a co-worker who always thinks he’s right and doesn’t show respect for your opinion. If you make it more than it is, it will have power over you.
What’s the Big Fat Hairy Deal in your life? What is the Big Fat Hairy Deal blocking you from?
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wow, this is so totally where i am right now! thanks for the blog! i started facing some major fears this week around work and relationship issues, and taking appropriate action — including speaking my truth in new and scary ways — and all of a sudden, life feels manageable again!
thanks Ken, you are a blessing!
Hey Mosey! A lot of life is just seeing what is there instead of making assumptions about what it is and what it means. I’ve been able to be a lot less stressed about it since taking that point of view.