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The Healing Power of Hugs

I’m just returned from my vacation at Gay Spirit Camp at Easton Mountain, and am in that phase of trying to reintegrate myself back into my life here, but also integrate the special things I got from my experiences. I took some great workshops, met some great new friends, reacquainted myself with established friends, and really just tried to be in the moment and not have an agenda (granted my playful self had an agenda which was to not have an agenda.)

Here are some random thoughts about what I got out of the week-long retreat:

I, and about everyone in our society, is touch-starved. For a whole week, I would get a hug just about every 10 feet I would walk. The culture there is one of not denying the body as part of your spiritual self and safe, respectful touch is encouraged. I had some lovely hour long talks in the main hammock while cuddling with some new friends (thanks each to Scott and Jim) and also took a workshop on Hugging as a Spiritual Practice.

When we deny part of who we are, we are so much smaller for it. I took a great workshop on Respectful Confrontation with Joe Weston, and my major learning for myself is that I need to be on environments that let me be all there. That includes work, relationships, friendships, housing, activities, etc. I might not be big physically (only 5’7″) but I’m big energetically.  I need to be in spaces where I don’t deny myself that.

One of my main goals of the week was not to rush. I normally am very goal oriented and find myself in these weeks thinking “By the end of the week I’ll be relaxed “. I decided this time to try being relaxed the entire time. I limited myself to one workshop a day, made sure I had time for lying in hammocks or having a leisurely conversation.  I needed to practice this so that I can get better at it in the rest of my life.  I’m finding that practice comes up in every facet of my life, whether it’s music, exercise, relationships, work, anything.

What have you learned from this summer that you can take into the Fall? What are you practicing?

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2 Comments

  1. A Curious UU

    I came to know the healing power of hugs later rather than sooner in life. Growing up in Missouri Synod Lutheran church, I can’t actually remember if I ever got a hug there. I have a good friend who works with jr. high youth in her Catholic Church, and for obvious but sad reasons, the rules on touch are very strict, even for a woman mentoring girls.

    Imagine my happy surprise to find that UU’s are quite a huggy bunch, as a rule. Invariable, when I show up at my UU church, I get (or give) hugs from the ministers, the executive director, welcomers, the staff, commitee members, or friends. Never having met her before, I introduced myself to Gini Courter at GA and got a hug.

    I know ministers are just people and not any more or less divine than the rest of us, but I swear to you that when I need healing the most and my minister hugs me, what happens is palpable, like a current being actively released from her to me.

    When she asks what can she do, and I tell her she has already done it in a hug, she seems to think I’m just being nice. But I’m not. Once I started looking around, I found this happening with all sorts of people, ministers and not.

    Your post would make a great session for GA.

    thanks.

    • Ken Mattsson

      Thanks for the comment! I would agree with you that most of the time we don’t get any hugs when we most need them, which is most of the time. It’s such a small gesture but makes a big difference in our lives in so many ways.

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